Chapter 36: Expletives Aside, These Are My Feels

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Sadamitsu had been tweeting and updating his blog when he noticed that Tationy had accepted his friend request on Skype and initiated a video chat call. He did not even offer a hello, “Took you long enough. What the hell are you and Hiko doing, fucking all the time?”

“It has been a little crazy since you left.”

He sighed, “Well don’t just disappear like that on me. I … ”

Tationy interrupted, “Are you alright, Sadamitsu?”

“Not really.”

The pout of her lips told him that she understood as she asked, “Are you ready to come home?” Even though she asked the question he wanted to hear, he was silenced. Things were not as he expected them to be and he wanted nothing more than to just hop on a plane and head back to Aslann. “It is alright if you want to come home. Hiko and I have plenty of room for you if you decide to return.”

“I’m not having fun,” He finally managed to say. “Stupid I know, I thought it would be different. When I am on stage it is awesome, but that is just for a couple of hours and then things are….I am trapped on a fucking bus that smells like feet and ass almost twenty-four, seven. If we are lucky enough to stay at a hotel, I spend the whole night watching midget porn and ordering room service while the rest of the band does their own things.”

She had laughed, “Really?”

“Are you judging me or the midgets?”

“I believe the politically correct term is little people or dwarf and for your information I find Peter Dinklage completely doable; though don’t tell Hiko I said that. Besides, I am not judging you. I just have to wonder why the little people porn. Is this your way of saying you got a fetish for short girls?”

Sadamitsu placed his hands behind his head, “I don’t care about that. Big or small it is all good. Though…” He paused a moment as he stared at the computer screen, “Seeing we are on the topic of fetishes, what sorts of things get you going?”

Tationy shook her head as she chuckled softly, “We are so not having this conversation.”

“Come on, you got to give me something. Seriously, I am running out of things to fap to.” There was a noticeable pause, “Are you googling it?”

“No,” She said with an obvious blush to her cheeks.

“That is fucking hot, but do that thing with your cheeks while telling me yes instead.”

“No,” Tationy responded as she laughed nervously.

Wrinkling his nose he spoke, “How the hell do you not know what fap means? Shit, I expect someone like Hiko who has never masturbated a day in his life to not know the definition, but you…I am shocked honestly and that is fucking hard to do.” He paused a moment, “That is so fucked up Tationy. I think you need to spend time with people that actually yank the fuck out of that shit, instead of the Kari. Not that there is anything wrong with the Kari, but maybe they would not be so uptight if they grabbed a hold of their dicks more often. Hell, there is so much fapping going on at night on this bus you would think the four of us were married to our hands.”

“Three,” Toshiro interjected with a snorted laugh.

“I stand corrected. I forgot Miroku would never dare touch his junk because he might actually fucking feel something. By the way, Tationy I hate your fucking father.”

“Tell me how you really feel,” Tationy responded.

“One second,” He said as he shuffled through several folders on his computer as he stated, “I got a gif, it will accurately express all of my feels regarding Miroku.” When he found the one he was looking for, he quickly sent it to her.

giphy

Sadamitsu knew the moment she saw it because she laughed; softly at first before it gained a subtle amount of momentum and she covered her mouth with her hand. When she finally managed to collect herself through fits of giggles she asked, “Not a fan?”

“He is a fucking douche-bag. Are you listening to me Miroku? A fucking douche-bag.” He sighed, “This fucking guy pisses me off so much. If he got down on his knees and licked my balls I might actually think he was a human being. Not this fucking guy though. There is nothing human or normal about him. He does not feel anything. A week ago we arrived at this hotel and there is this girl standing in the lobby; bald head, sunken eyes, obviously she was terminal and wanted to meet her favorite musician that piece of shit father of yours. Do you know what he did? Walks right the fuck by her without even looking at her or saying hello as she reaches out with her weak little arms trying to get an autograph. Un-fucking real. Hiko is a real piece of shit some days, but not even he is that fucking callous. Apathetic piece of shit.

“Did you ask him why he walked by?”

“Honestly, I wish I would not have. He said and I quote, she would not live long enough to appreciate it anyway. What the fuck kind of sick and twisted thinking is that? Give her something in her final hours, days, weeks, or months. Don’t let the last thought in her mind be…that Miroku Tylo is a fucking asshole. I am so glad you did not act like that when I met you because Hiko and I would have been having a serious….SERIOUS fucking conversation. At least be fucking human. I get you Tylo have all of this weird shit in your heads all the time, but I mean look at you; at least you act normal….er. What is that look for?”

“Just trying to decide if that was a compliment.”

“It completely was. Didn’t you hear me when I said you act normal?”

“I might have been focusing on the er at the end of it,” She responded and it took Sadamitsu a moment to realize she was teasing him.

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There was a part of him that wanted to be back in Aslann. Almost desperately at that. He never thought he would think it let alone say it, “I miss the two of you. So, tell me everything that has been going on?” Her head tilted slightly a subtle smile crossed her lips, “Alright, maybe everything is too much. Where is Hiko anyway?”

“Taking a shower. It requires a ridiculous amount of product to tame his wild hair.”

“I noticed yours is looking interesting.”

She smirked slightly, “It takes twice as much to tame mine.”

Sadamitsu laughed loudly, “Tationy Tylo, what are you doing to me? Fuck that was hot and dirty. Okay, I have decided this is what I need. Tell Hiko that the two of you need to make a porn video and then just accidentally viral it to me.”

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“Not going to happen,” He heard Hiko say and then got a brief flash of him as Tationy adjusted the position of her laptop.

“Which part; letting it go viral or making it?”

“Hiko is not that adventurous,” Tationy responded softly.

“Somehow I doubt his name and the word should go in the same sentence,” Sadamitsu stated.

“I can hear the two of you.” There was a subtle moment of silence that followed his words and he noticed that Tationy had sent him something.

hh

Trying not to laugh he covered up his amusement between coughs and throat clearing, though it was evident he was failing. Whatever was going on it was clear that Hiko was not happy about something, but there was no point in asking about it while he was standing a few feet away. Composing himself he asked, “That is your new apartment right? How long have you been there now?”

“It has been nearly two weeks since we got the keys, but tomorrow will be a week that we have actually been staying here.”

“Do the two of you intend to decorate or did I miss some sort of memo that empty apartments is like the new black or something?”

“We just have not had the opportunities due to a lot of other stuff going on. Hiko was only suppose to be working half-days at the Kari Foundation this week, but it turned into full workdays. He has been getting home really late and I was meant to be working this week, but only managed to get in two days before I took a week off.”

“Why did you take a week off?”

“I am surprised you have not heard. It has been all over the news. Emi Sosa, Abe’s mother died.”

That explained it. He was wondering why Hiko seemed so bent out of shape and knowing that Abe was somehow involved put it all in perspective. Certainly it was probably not the only reason after all it did not take much to get under Hiko’s skin, but Abe would not even have to try. Just existing was enough. Cautiously he asked, “So, you and Abe have been spending some time together I take it?”

“Hiko and I went to the hospital the moment we heard the news. Abe’s dad just took off, dumping all of the responsibilities onto his son. Not really all that surprising if you have ever met Emitoya, but Abe has so much going on right now that it was just too much to let him carry it alone. He came and stayed with us a night.”

Sadamitsu initially laughed, “Oh, you are serious. Well, I bet Hiko was not too happy about that.”

“It was difficult, but he did not kill him. Abe decided against imposing upon us any longer than a day and is staying with a friend.”

He told himself not to ask, “Tsubaki?”

“Actually, Abe ended that.” There were so many questions he wanted to ask. What did it say about the situation, when Abe was the one that ended it? Would that mean Tsubaki would contact him? Did he really want her to? Tationy must have noticed the turmoil as she responded, “It is difficult to have feelings for someone and not be able to reach out to them. What you need to ask yourself is, would having her in your life make it better or worse? A lot of people look at love through colored lenses. It is amazing and fantastic, but when those lenses are removed the world returns to normal. Love is not a circumstance where what you see is only what you get. Visually, she is beautiful, but emotionally she comes with a lot of baggage.” Pausing a moment she added, “Talk to Hiko, I got to pee.”

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He understood that she was not being rude even though the conversation was abruptly halted. Thinking such deep thoughts with so many people around was not something that would benefit his current emotional state.

With a moment of pause he collected himself and tried to get Hiko’s attention, but he was ignored several times until he finally snapped and said, “What the fuck Hiko. Stop treating me like shit.” After a moment of more silence, Hiko made his way to the sofa and took a seat. Regarding him, Sadamitsu said, “Wow, you are really fucking pissed. Is it just Abe or something else?” Nothing. Not even a single word. With a sigh Sadamitsu asked, “Do you want to end things with Tationy?”

Finally he spoke, “It’s not that.”

“Then what is it?”

“Just hate being stupid.” Hiko had never been the brightest guy, but Sadamitsu could not help wondering what he meant? It could not be anything so simple as an intelligence level. There had been a moment where he perhaps paused for far too long because by the time he opened his mouth to ask Tationy had returned. As she sat down next to Hiko she snuggled into him closely. That tension was not going to go away unless they talked and Sadamitsu felt odd like he had a window into their relationship even though they were just over Skype talking. “Show us around your home on wheels.”

Sadamitsu understood why Hiko changed the topic as he asked, “Really, you both want to see it?”

“Of course,” Tationy responded.

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It was clear he was lifting the computer as he turned displaying the spot he was just sitting at moments ago, “So, that desk in the corner there was where I was sitting. As you can see, it has some random stuff on it, most of it belongs to Toshiro who leaves his shit all over the place. What you cannot see is all the shoes he has laying underneath it. Ridiculous. I am not even going to tell you the amount of hats and shoes that dude has and Hero every morning writes a new quote on the board.”

“Beyond that curtain, next to the desk, is where the driver and exit are located. Nothing good comes of going behind the drapery. It is like The Wizard of Oz. That is like the most important rule. I made the mistake one night of going to the other side to chat with the driver and learned the hard way that he is one crazy fucking bus operator. Suddenly, I went wooosh and so did everything that was not bolted down. Well except Miroku because he is a fucking asshole. Guy can see the future, but does he fucking warn anyone? No, the dick just braces himself and puts his hand on whatever he does not want to go flying and leaves the rest of us to get tossed and not in the good way.”

Tationy laughed softly as he continued, “We have like this big wall cabinet, which most everyone just puts random shit in so it does not go flying around. There are all kinds of games in there, but I think only Hero and Miroku use them. Which leads me to the table next to it because as you can see whatever game they are playing just gets left there until it is finished or ends up on the floor during one of the daily wooshing incidences. So, no one can use the table or any table for that matter in this area because the one that we would use to sit and eat at has more of Toshiro’s shit all over it. The dude is a fucking hoarder.”

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“Look at this shit. There are instruments everywhere.”

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He turned quickly, “See, more instruments. That is a fucking shamisen from Japan. Would you believe me if I said Hero plays it? Crazy shit right there. Did not even know people still learned how to play these old fucking relics. I guess it should not have been such a surprise after I saw him smoking from a pipe. Not like one of those Sherlock Holmes pipes either. Something you would see out of an old Chinese movie or fuck even the hobbits in Lord of the Rings. A fucking pipe; seriously did not think this band could get any stranger after that. I was wrong.”

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Panning around, “The two of you know Toshiro. He spends most of the bus trip playing tetris and pokemon. Important things to know about him other than what I already told you is he is a complete lazy fuck and all he does is think about girls. He is our age, so no real surprise. Out of the entire band, he is the coolest.

“Thank you for that,” Toshiro remarked with a chuckle. “I honestly thought you might go in a completely different direction considering the first part.”

Sadamitsu ignored him, “Really nice. Greets fans, always in a good mood, fuck even his hair he had cut off and donated to Locks of Love. Don’t know who the fuck would want to run around with purple hair other than us losers, but hey it is the thought that counts right?”

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He groaned as he turned, “This fucking guy I am just going to skip over because I know I am not going to be able to stop myself from going on a fucking tirade.” Pausing a moment he continued, “No, you know what. I will say it as many times as it needs to be said. Miroku Tylo is a fucking douche-bag. I can say it three hundred times and he does not even fucking react to it. I mean can you even picture it. Here, you are being insulted over and over again, called names repeatedly, and not a fucking hint of emotion. He does not fucking care. Hell if I called Hiko a douche-bag he would fucking knock my head off and I can sure as hell tell you that if I called you any name Tationy, he would fucking kill me. That is normal. People do not like being called names. This guy though, I don’t even think he has a beating heart. At least not one that is pumping red blood like the rest of us.”

Toshiro snorted as he tried not to laugh, “It takes time, you will get use to him.”

“I don’t think I want to get use to him. Fuck me, I have seen cold fish that are warmer.” He turned the laptop around and held it so they could see him, “Are you listening Hiko. Don’t ever let Tationy become apathetic like this. Soulless that is what it is. People need to connect to other people. They need to feel as though they belong and are linked, but this guy is not capable of those types of human emotions. All of us, flesh and blood people are ants to him. We are nothing, but obstacles that are in his way. Sad truth is, even if he reaches whatever thing he is trying to obtain we will all still be obstacles because there is no part of him that is human.”

He paused a moment, “They keep telling me I will get used to it, but I don’t want to. Accepting a guy like this, annoys me. Abe Sosa is a fucking asshole, but at least he does not treat everyone like scum on the bottom of his boot. The only thing this guy cares about is himself. I am a pretty selfish asshole so I think I can say that pretty confidently.” He growled, “Talking about him pisses me off, let’s move on.”

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With a moment to compose himself he focused in on Hero, “Standing in our little kitchenette is Hero. This is really his domain. He does all of the cooking and cleaning. Seriously, some days it seems like that phone is attached to Hero, but really it is not. The guy is crazy smart when it comes to financial investments so he is always fucking around with that buying, selling, trading shit. Honestly, Hero is only slightly more tolerable than Miroku. Fucking guy, I don’t know how he even speaks with that forked tongue of his.”

“Oh, by the way, I forgot to tell you about the color schemes and decor which totally fucking clashes. I asked when I stepped on the bus who designed it and they told me that they each added their own touches. Fucking looks like someone vomited up a few spotted and stripped cats and then raided old furniture and wood paneling from the seventies that people had tossed out to the trash. It is a gay interior designers fucking nightmare.”

He groaned, “As you might have noticed while we make our way into the bedroom area, if you can call it that, Hero and Miroku have not said shit. I am not important enough for them to speak with. At the audition, sure they had to talk to me. I want to be surprised, but only Toshiro took the time to come and get me and be welcoming. They think because they are the founders of the group that they do not have to be sociable to me. I am just some temporary guitarist filling in until that egocentric Muramasa Saitama returns.”

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Opening the curtain and closing it behind him Sadamitsu sighed, “Can you see this shit? I was thinking a full-size bed, something epic. We get bunks on either side of the bus. The top one is mine. Now, I am six feet, five inches and nearly two hundred and five pounds and these fuckers want me to squeeze my big ass body in that tiny little fucking space. Not fucking happening. I end up trying to sleep on the sofa, but most nights Miroku is out there banging away on the piano and no one can get a lick of fucking sleep because the guy is an inconsiderate ….fuck he is a cunt. Sorry Tationy, I hate that word so I have been trying to watch my mouth, but seriously I fucking hate him.”

“I am not even going to bother showing you the bathroom. No way there could be a fucking space worse than this one or at least that is what I thought until I went to take a shit and suddenly felt claustrophobia take hold.”

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Sadamitsu realized the two of them were being oddly quiet as he set his computer on his bed and proceeded to maneuver himself upon it like a contortionist. There was no way anyone would be comfortable like this as he thought about what he wanted to say, “I think the thing that bothers me most is this might actually be fun if the two of you were here. I know we only played together for the audition, but I kind of see the two of you as my band. These guys, just needed a guitarist. Honestly, they really wanted Kuro.” Sighing he added, “I am under contract so no matter how much I just want to leave I can’t.”

He noticed how Hiko frowned, “Send a copy of the contract to the Kari Foundation and I can have someone there take a look at it.”

“It won’t matter. Seems unlikely that Miroku would leave anything to chance. Being Tylo, the future is his playground after all.”

“Miroku is not the only Tylo,” Hiko responded. “I am sure Tationy could…”

Sadamitsu cut him off, “Is that really what you want? Don’t get me wrong Hiko, I appreciate you even offering, but doesn’t that make her just as bad as him if she tries to fix this?”

Hiko grumbled under his breath a moment before asking, “How long is the contract for?”

“The remainder of their American tour, one year and three months. Then, if I workout, they will look into renewing the contract.” He paused a moment, “Some bands I guess live hand to mouth while on the road. We at least get a tour bus, catering, and hotels. Still, it should be the time of my life and I only remotely have any fun when I am on stage. There is so little time to do anything; four to eight hours to a new city. We head to the venue and everything gets unloaded and setup while we are getting ready. Doing those last minute checks and making sure we understand when and where we are supposed to be standing. It is not just about the music, it is about the whole show. A two to four hour concert, depending on whether or not we get an encore and if Miroku decides he is not a selfish bastard and allows us to indulge our fans. Then, we pack up shit, get to the bus, and repeat the vicious cycle.”

Shifting around to get comfortable as he added, “Sometimes there are after parties, where the three of them get completely wasted. Toshiro fucks a ton of girls; bringing two or three of them back at a time to the bus or his hotel room. Don’t even want to think about what a fucking Waichia does in that sort of situation. Probably some sick and fucking twisted shit. Hero and Miroku get shit faced and spend the whole night playing songs they wrote back in the old days of Tequila Monsters that never made it into an album because they were too….who the fuck knows. Dark maybe; seemed like the songs were about their lives among the clans of Aslann. It is not like these America’s would even understand those types of songs especially while three sheets to the wind and looking to fuck a rock star.”

“Seriously there is so much ass being tossed around. Women begging to be fucked, but you know they are just looking to be with a rock star and in some cases looking to bag one. Not interested in girls that are only after me because I am famous. Probably seems weird me saying that, but I really have not been with that many girls. Sure I am popular, chicks fucking dig me because I am like balls to the wall all the time. The ladies really like it when you give it your all and even though they sometimes say they wish you were a little less intense, when you are holding them in the air and reminding them why they picked you…there is nothing quite like how they moan your name.”

“Fuck, what am I saying? You get it right Hiko? That moment when you are touching Tationy and she makes that sound that just pushes you over the edge and you feel like you are going to fucking completely blow your load all over her. That is what I want. I don’t need some girl that is just going to bend over and beg me to fuck her. I want that moment when the two of you are fucking and even though you want to cum in her you pull out to be respectful of her feelings. That excitement; your cock is twitching and jumping like fucking mad, and then she does something. That last final moment of intensity that makes you shoot your load and it goes fucking flying and hits her right on the side of the head. So embarrassing, but you apologize and she smiles and tells you it is alright even though she has it matted in her hair. Fucking sexy as hell.”

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Sadamitsu stopped talking suddenly when he noticed movement and realized Tationy was walking away from the computer. He nearly forgot he was talking over video chat until he heard Hiko say, “Get your eyes off my girlfriends ass and put your hands where I can see them.”

Groaning, “Come on Hiko let me just fantasize just a little bit. I hate saying it because she is your girlfriend, but dat ass is made for….”

“Don’t finish that sentence.”

“But….”

“Mitsu,” Hiko had said which elicited a frown. He only called him that because he knew he did not like it, “I can’t and I won’t let you talk about her like that. No more comments about her breasts or her butt. Got it? We are friends, but my patience is wearing thin when it comes to you making comments about how she looks. Just, stop.”

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There was silence that followed as he rolled to his back. In a voice that he was not generally known for Sadamitsu responded, “I don’t mean anything by it. Really, I am not trying to make you uncomfortable or anything. Honestly, I am kind of jealous. Not because I want Tationy or anything. Do not get me wrong she is amazing and I would definitely hit it if she offered, but I don’t think I could keep up with her. It amazes me really that you can. There are not many people that I have met that are smarter than me or shock me and honestly it puts me off a little bit. Not in like a bad way, but in an insecure, I could never compete sort of way. When I talk about her body your feathers get ruffled and you puff up your chest, it is kind of funny. I have never been like that, not even with Tsubaki so I do not really understand what it would be like to have someone in my life that I was that protective of. I find myself wondering if I would act the same way.”

“Not to mention I am completely curious about how sex works with the two of you. I know that is probably weird, but everything the Anami are taught about Kari unions, it just seems like sex is a taboo thing you probably do with your clothes on. Honestly, the two of you have Yamada bodies. They are not exactly subtle. Most people consider them indecent; like porn stars or something. Hard picturing that. That does remind me though, there is this porno the two of you have to rent called …”

“We are not watching porn,” Hiko responded.

Sadamitsu snorted, “Really? Watching porn together increases your sexual repertoire. Not to mention it is a lot easier to find out what she fantasizes about. For example, if you ask her, would you like to be fucked in the ass. Of course she is going to say no. Cuddled together, watching it on the screen, and there it is. The two of you are touching each other and you ask her, what would you think about me playing with your ass? If she does not completely bulk at the idea, you know there is an opportunity to try something new. It is not like it is something dirty, just be like do you want to watch porn with me? If she is interested or receptive, then there is no reason to be shy or uncomfortable. I get it, you probably do not like the idea of her watching other men. Will she compare you to them? First, you got to get out of that mindset. Men and women fantasize and are attracted to other people, just because you are like some weird exception to the rule does not mean that she does not look at guys and think, he is attractive.”

“Tationy would you want to watch porn?” Sadamitsu asked.

From the kitchen she said, “If Hiko wanted to.”

“See. Seriously Hiko, you are too uptight about sex. Anyway, the movie is called Licking Tradition. The reason I say you should watch it is because there is this guy in it that I swear has to be Kari. I practically died when I saw it because I have never heard of a Kari….I do not even know how to finish the sentence honestly. Anyway, google it and find a torrent or something. Tationy knows how to do it I am sure, seeing you suck with the internet.” Sadamitsu sighed, “Well, I will probably try to sleep I guess. We will be in Nevada in a couple of hours for a show. Hiko, I know you hate chatting and texting, but could you and Tationy try to keep in touch a bit more?”

Hiko had not hesitated, despite his obvious foul mood, “Ahh.”

“Try to enjoy yourself Sadamitsu, take a lot of pictures when you can,” Tationy responded.

“Alright,” He said as he quickly ended the call. Even though he probably should have said goodbye, the feeling of loneliness had set in and he was reminded sharply how much he wanted to head home to Aslann.

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Sadamitsu did not get very far into sleeping. He was uncomfortable and his computer kept telling him that someone was trying to reach him. He blinked a few times as he tried to focus before realizing that it was Tsubaki. Part of him was surprised and yet another part of him didn’t think it was entirely unexpected that she would reach out to him. It was something she had always done when things did not go the way she wanted with Abe. If he was really honest with himself, Sadamitsu was a side-dude. He groaned before accepting the call, rubbing the sleep from his eyes. “Considering how we left things the last time we talked, I am a bit surprised to hear from you.”

“How are you?”

“Fuck the pleasantries and get to why you contacted me, Tsubaki.

“I wanted to ask you something.”

“So, ask already.”

He told himself that he could probably be a bit nicer to her as he stared at the screen and waited for her to say something. Uncertain why she was taking so long he closed his eyes trying to get comfortable again, but honestly it was impossible, “Do you believe that I can ever get over how I feel for Abe?”

“Probably not. Some people, just get under your skin and you cannot let them go no matter how much you want to. Though, I suspect you don’t really want to and that is part of the issue. I never really understood what you found so attractive in him. Perhaps if it was his money or his looks, I could get it. Honestly, I have thought about it a bit. Probably more than I should have and I came to the conclusion that you like being treated like shit.  When you think about it, Abe is not the only person like that you spent time with. Look at Eri. She has to have the ugliest personality of any human being and yet you were her friend. So, I have to wonder if a part of you does not like that sort of behavior. Maybe even though you clean up well there is a part of you that is a deviant and a bitch, just like they are.”

Perhaps he was too harsh because she did not say anything at first, “I thought of this as well. Especially when I was dating Sadoo. He was such a nice guy and I kept thinking that something was wrong with him, but maybe there was something wrong with me.” She paused a moment, “The Zenaku and the Anami cannot reach an agreement regarding what happened between us. It has caused a great deal of trouble for our families even more so for me.”

“Want me to marry you? If you think that is going to make everything fucking better you are mistaken.” Sighing in frustration he added, “Seriously, what the fuck do you want?”

“I just wanted someone to talk to. Abe won’t return my calls and Eri’s dad keeps telling me that she is unavailable to speak. I can’t talk to my parents because they are still pissed at me. I just thought….”

“Thought what Tsubaki? That it was okay to completely break my heart some more? My own fault for sleeping with you when I knew you were still fucking around with Abe, but I thought if you saw what it was like to be treated well…” He cut his words off suddenly, “Fuck it, why am I even explaining this to you.”

There was a drawn out silence that lingered far to long and Sadamitsu thought about just hanging up on their video chat. Finally, she said, “I have decided to leave Aslann. I won’t be returning either. There is nothing here for me. Sune was always the prodigal son capable of doing anything and me, I always looked pretty in a dress. At least that is what my mother would tell you. I don’t like who I am here and honestly, without Abe I don’t want to be here. No one cares about me. I could just disappear and no one would even notice. I guess the reason I called was because I wanted someone to know I am leaving and why. I gave my heart to Abe Sosa and he tossed it back in my face.”

He was hurt as he lashed out, “Wow, you are a selfish bitch. The same thing you are crying over Abe doing to you, is the same thing you did to me. The sad thing is, Tsubaki, you are not even sorry. Aslann is better off without people like you. Don’t contact me again.”

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There were moments it felt like Sadamitsu was just going through the motions. Willing his body to do the things he needed to. Even that night after he talked with Tsubaki, he got his stuff together and exited the bus like the other members of Tequila Monsters. It was just another day. When he was onstage, it all seemed like a dream. In such a short window of time, he was living the life he wanted to live.

Then, rather suddenly the dream ended and he was reminded sharply that it did not feel like his dream. That moment of stardom, belong to Kuro and because Miroku was the way he was, he stepped on the dream of the man Sadamitsu once called friend. The part that bothered him most, was that he was not strong enough to say no. He wanted it to, but had he been clearer in thought he would have realized that it was not his path to walk. Every part of it felt wrong.

TS3W 2015-11-11 14-02-01-65

After the show, while the equipment was being loaded he hid at the back of the lot; lost in his own thoughts. Suddenly, the bench shook and there was Toshiro chuckling softly, “Cannot hide from me, I hope you know.” Sadamitsu did manage to open his eyes, but did not even offer a response. “I asked Miroku if you would be taking off. He told me there was a hundred percent chance you would stick around just to be a thorn in his and Hero’s side. It is slightly amusing, but how healthy is it? I am not judging, but you are obviously not happy and really not even trying to be. If we are being honest, I cannot really blame you. Probably thinking you are living Kuro’s life.”

“Don’t read my mind, Toshiro.”

Chuckling, “Cannot help it, you are making it so easy right now. Most people at least try and put walls up to protect themselves. Like that girl, Miroku’s daughter. The layers of defenses around her mind would impress any Waichia. It would be quite painful for both of us, if I tried to read her. Just reaching out and tickling her mind, I was reminded sharply that the Tylo are a very dangerous foe. I made the mistake once reading Miroku’s and the strain was just too much. Truth be told, I don’t like reading people. I would rather you just tell me what is going on.”

There was a noticeable pause, “Hero always defers to Miroku on decisions like these, but honestly even he was not happy. I did not suspect anything funny until I heard them arguing. This is the first time that Miroku has made a selfish decision, at least one that is completely obvious. The reason you are here, has nothing to do with the band.”

Sadamitsu did not interrupt him, “Miroku does not share shit with me, so what I know usually comes from hearing the two of them argue. Worse yet, sometimes I get glimpses into Hero’s mind and I don’t particularly like what I see. From what I have patched together, your reason for being here is because of something Miroku is trying to obtain. Who knows what with a guy like him. He is using you. Bet that does not surprise you though, does it? Normally, I would think it was about the success of the band because that is really all he has ever thought about was putting his music out there, but from what I got recently from overhearing conversations I was not meant to, this is about some woman that you are going to meet. I guess I follow a different code, but that is some fucked up shit if what I think is coming is really what happens.”

“Honestly, I am not going to tell you what to do. Stay or go that is a decision only you can make. Miroku, walks over us like we are trash. Our hopes, dreams, emotions do not matter to him. I am not arguing that calling him a piece of shit is not justified, but you do get use to it. Does it make it better? Not really. When I first joined I was just like you. I thought about quitting every day. Miroku never talked to me. Still barely says a word and Hero and Muramasa always joked about replacing me. I never really felt like I fit in, sometimes I still don’t, but I did not have your lack of verbal filter to tell them how unhappy I was. It was just easier to laugh it off and smile.”

Toshiro continued talking, “Hero is pissed at Miroku. Whoever this girl is, he already does not like her and once Hero decides he hates you there is no changing his mind. He is calling her Yoko Ono.” Laughing a moment he got considerably serious, “I don’t know the particulars. When they realize I am there they stop talking and Hero is pretty good at keeping me out of his head, but occasionally I get bits of it here and there. I don’t know, maybe I am reading too much into the little pieces of information I have, but I would watch your back where Miroku is concerned whether you stay or go. I am not saying he would do anything, but I used to hear stories about how the Tylo would manipulate events so people would …. well I am just going to put it out there, die. If he wants something coming your way, I would not put it past a heartless guy like him.”

Standing suddenly he stretched and patted Sadamitsu lightly on the shoulder, “I would not blame you if you walk away.”

Most of what Toshiro said had resonated with him after all they were honest about preferring Kuro. The weeks that followed him joining the band, Sadamitsu came to realize that Hero was capable of saying all the right things. Honestly, it had to be difficult talking with that forked tongue, but the Takahashi somehow managed it. All the right words said and even though he felt bad about it he trampled on his friend’s dream. Miroku never looked at him. Never spoke to him. Not a hint of emotion or caring one way or the other. The only person that genuinely seemed to give a shit was Toshiro and even he could not be trusted because he was Waichia.

Sadamitsu did not know what to do. Part of him thought he should go home to Aslann and break the contract and another part of him thought he should stick it out for the year and three months remaining. Truth was, if what Toshiro said was true it probably did not matter one way or the other. Him being there, put Miroku’s agenda in play. His mind thought of this unknown girl and what it was about her that Miroku would go to such lengths for, which led him back to Toshiro’s words about death. He had heard those same stories. Everyone knew the tales of Tylo’s that did everything and anything to get what they wanted. Somehow, it made sense that feeling of doom and borrowed time that always seemed to be lingering about him.

To Be Continued

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12 comments

  1. I love it. I think I enjoyed a little too much reading this chapter. The unfiltered version of Sada-kun is perfect. He just say whatever that he wants, the best part is where he keep calling Miroku a fucking douche-bag. *thumbs up* Miroku. You deserves to be called that. I mean it. Not too sorry, my love Miroku. hehehe

    That last one is..what.. whyyyy.. it makes Miroku look so evil.. huwaaa… Well. Miroku is obviously not a good guy, I know.. especially of what he did, like you told me, he left Tationy with Chile so that he can secure his future with Ameya. I don’t mind that much.. but this one, using Sada-kun.. *cries uncontrollably* T___T

    Oh come on! Looks like Hero hate her in this story too. Noooooo! Whyyyy. Hero never liked her..just like in reloaded. *sobs. *sobs.

    • Remember what I said for the historical story, Miroku is the evil guy. So the evil part at the end should not be all that surprising. Hero never likes anyone that is with Miroku. He did not like Chile either, because it is him and Miroku. Not him, Miroku, and some woman. So, regardless of who it is, he would not like her. Even more so this story because of what Miroku is doing. It really puts the band in jeopardy. HAHA, yeah Miroku is just a bit of a butt.

  2. Ohhhhhh I think I know where you’re going with this plot . . . and I think I should stock up on the Kleenex now. 😦 Poor Sadamitsu, it’s clear he is miserable being on the road with people who cannot stand him, and see him as a means to an end. It’s clear Sada loves the music, but can’t tolerate the asshatery of everything else. Really, it’s a slap in the face to a clever guy like him.

    His skype chat with Hiko and Tationy – well, mostly Tationy – cracked me up so much. Sada is such a funny guy! It sucks to see him so sad and angry. Of course, being around a walking corpse like Miroku would piss me off too lol.

    This comment, though, really hurt reading it, because it pretty much sums up his state of mind: I know you have said that Sadamitsu is a feeling kind of guy, but this really hit that description home. Clearly, Sadamitsu liked Tsubaki, and was just as abused by her and she was by Abe. At least he had the presence of mind to understand what was happening and leave town to get away from it. I was totally cheering him on for what he said to her, and his last words of their conversation. Good riddance to Tsubaki; she so isn’t worth any more of his energy or time.

    Hmm, so Miroku is keeping Sada around because of this future woman he’s going to meet? Gee, I wonder who that will be. >:) Though, am I correct in wondering that the reason Miroku wants him around is so MIROKU will meet this future woman, too, and then manipulate events to that Sada dies? That…is seriously messed up. WOW. You had mentioned Miroku will be walking a dark path, I just never thought it would involve death at the end of it. Color me really intrigued! I’m in it for the long haul!

    • Yes, lots of kleenex. Prepare for the feels. Sadamitsu is very much miserable and he has a tough decision ahead of him. If he stays he will continue to be miserable, if he goes, how will his life be better? It is a tough one.

      HAHA, Sadamitsu is always funny and he really needed to laugh and forget which was easy to do with Tationy and somewhat with Hiko. Yes, it is hard for Sadamitsu to be around a guy like Miroku. It makes him so angry.

      He really was. As much as she loved Abe, Sadamitsu loved her. It was really painful for him, because just as Tsubaki was Abe’s side-chick, Sadamitsu was her side-dude. Nothing was going to come of the relationship, and he was made to feel like there was some hope and really it was an abusive and crushing experience for him as much as it was between Abe and Tsubaki.

      Miroku was never meant to be a good guy. Even in TEP, but due to the issues with the computer and the games he ended up being a good guy and almost sympathetic compared to the Prince of Aslann, which he was not meant to be. He was always meant to be a tyrant that was to be overthrown. We really see that he is really apathetic and like almost all of the other Tylo he is only looking to secure what he wants at the expensive of everyone else.

  3. I really loved this chapter! The Skype call between the three was so lively! These are the little details I was talking to you about few chapters ago. Love this stuff. It gives so much input on Sadamitsu and his inner world.

    Also welcome to the world of rich and famous Sada. It reminded me a lot of the times I was managing my husband’s modeling career. He used to come up with monologues like that too. I’d be playing Miroku in that story.
    I think Miroku is pretty great with adapting to that lifestyle. Even though it’s his Tylo eyes and all, being emotionless get you far in life.
    I do feel bad for Sadamitsu though, it’s sad to see his boyish dreams being broken like that. But I think he should stay, you don’t walk away from trials of life, you face them.

    Tsubaki is pathetic. Like seriously… she’s such a ‘door rug’ person. Argh. Have some self-esteem, lady. No wonder Abe doesn’t want you!

    I wonder what’s up with that woman… Is that the daughter of that Japanese man that is working for Ishi? Don’t know why I thought of her when I read it…

    • The woman that Miroku is after, yes is the daughter of the Japanese man, that is Ameya (Fyachii’s sim). She also appeared in TEPR.

      Tsubaki does not grow for a long time. It takes her years to get her head back on straight and by that point she and Sadamitsu her and Sadamitsu fall back into the same dysfunctional relationship.

      Thank you, the Skype call was fun to do. Yeah I really wanted to show how he got his dream and yet was not happy and not having fun. That he pretty much hated it as well as Hero and Miroku. We will not see Tequila Monsters for a long time though because they are not scheduled to come back into the story until Tationy is 25 years old. So that is really the last we will see of them and if I drop the continuation of the story, we might not see them at all. You will learn what Sadamitsu does in the next chapter. ^_^

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